Pitching our ideas

Today we tried to think of ideas for our "thriller" opening sequence. First we individually came up with three ideas. Below is one of mine.
House on a Hill;

-An establishing shot of a large, holiday house on a hill.

The shot is held and then a male figure walks into the frame, walking toward the house, slowly.

-There is then a jump shot of a family inside the house. There are three children; two young children aged 5-10 and a teenage girl. The parents are trying to get everyone to sit at the table for dinner; there is an innocent yet chaotic atmosphere.

-There is then another jump shot to the man walking up the hill but he is closer to the house this time. It then cuts to the shot of his hand which has blood dripping off the fingertips.

-There is then another cut to the inside of the house showing, again the family sitting down for dinner, giving us the idea that something is about to disrupt it.

-When the family are finally at the table and are about to eat there is a nock at the door. The farther rises from the chair to answer, there is then a reaction shot of the father when he has opened the door, he is speechless and there is a fearful/shocked look on his face. 

-We then hear the sound of his throat being slit and there is a blackout. During the blackout, we hear the farther breathing heavily, trying to speak, as he is lying on the floor as the title fades in.

(The transitions in this sequence would have been mainly fade in and fade out)

We decided not to go with this idea as it was too clichè. It was also rather un-interesting. The only part which grabs our attention would be the build up in pace/tension.

We each shared our ideas and found one which we were happy to do;

The Deep End

-It woul begin with a shot of a girl diving into a pool and then beginning to swim- training for a county swimming competition.

-The girl would continue to swim back and forth with under water shots/ slow motion shots of coming up for breath.

-Tension would build as she is timing herself.

-The would be POV shots from outside the pool room looking in making us realise that she is being watched.

-We would see the door open and feet walking into the room (track shot).

-We would think the stalker is in the room but it is the father.

-Father leaves an she follows after but we see this through POV so we know that someone is still watching and that she is in danger.

This was interesting as there were many good ideas and it was difficult for us to choose which was best/ appropriate for our thriller sequence.